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Im a stay at home dad too…why cant I be on the Today Show?

June 29, 2013

It took me awhile, but I have realized that “Diaries of a stay at home dad”  is overused.  Unfortunately, caring for our three boys sucks the creativity out of me, so it is difficult to come up with a catchy blog title that unlocks my 15 minutes of fame (i’ll touch on this more later).  Clearly, it also sucks out my will power to exercise, blog, maintain current friendships, make new friends, and knit. I have been able to keep my binge drinking intact, which is good.

When last I blogged, I said you would hear from me in July.  Well, you’re welcome, its only June and I am back on the scene.  Early Christmas present.

The school year was a pain in the butt, with all the start times, drop offs, pick ups, etc.  i looked forward to the summer since January.  I forgot though how “demanding” the summer is.  Controlling the activities of three young boys is crazy, especially when one of them is two, and yes, terrible (aw, you cant be talking about cute little Keagan, he is an angel).  For whatever reason, Keagan picks on Liam.  Liam knows he is must not retaliate, and he does not.  Instead I hear a high pitched scream followed by “dad, Keagan hit me with ______________.”  Just a moment ago, the boys were having a slide show up in their room, looking at some viewfinder slides of Thomas the tank engine, Charlie Browns Christmas, and animals, and making up stories about old family reunions.  Then I hear the usual signal of a problem…Liam shrieking.  Keagan had (uh oh, Liam is crying again…apparently Go Diego Go just attacked him with assistance from Keagan) dropped a wooden treasure chest on Liam’s head. When I ask Keagan, he just drops his head in shame and answers “Yeaaaa…I sawwee Eeam.”  Translated, “Yes, I am sorry Liam.”

Keagan is rough.  He clearly does not want to be the youngest of the group, and he knows that he is at an age where he can get away with almost anything.  You see, he has “curly hair immunity.”  One look at his golden curly hair and people are hypmostized.  How could this handsome little boy bash his brother’s head with several chinese made toys?  his power is impressive.  I find myself falling into his trap often.  In fact, when I attempt to give him a time out, he often will give me a big hug on the way to jail…”Dad, I sawwee.”  He is good.  And he doesn’t pick on Brian as much.  He must see Liam as the alpha dog, and he wants to take his place.  Liam is unbelieveably patient with Keagan, and he heals quickly, which is nice.

So, regarding my 15 minutes of fame…there has been several stories lately on stay at home dads, or professional parents having to make a decision for one to stay home, or the difficulties of both balancing work and kids, or how one or the other spouse stinks at being equally responsible for the kids, blah blah, blah. Then I see a story teased one morning on the Today Show. A professional woman who regrets making the decision to stay home with her kids. I gotta see this. After like an hour and a half, at like 8:45 when most of the viewing audience has turned the TV off to feed their kids, which should have been a dead give away that it would be a bunch-of-nothing story, the story comes on and they interview this woman. Her regret was “my world got a lot smaller”

Uh, DUH! Did she make this decision the night before she resigned? Sarah and I mulled our decision for months, considering the impact it would have on me, her, the kids, me, me, um, me. Ha. How nieve could this person be? You didnt think through the impact of going from working with grown professional individuals, working in the high powered world of stock brokerage (I think), to instead having to wipe butts, prepare hundreds of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and attempting to explain to your kids why their favorite shows werent on every hour of every day? And the pisser…that was the whole story. “My advice to anyone considering leaving the workforce to care for their kids, be prepared for how small your world gets, and how difficult it is to get back into the workplace.” Sage advice my friend. Good God. Where do they find these people? I can only imagine what else surprises this woman…”I have to pay taxes EVERY YEAR?”…”Kids don’t inherently know how to use the toilet AND wipe themselves?”…”I cant drop my kids off at the pool and sit at the bar for several hours?”

Oh wait,that last one was me.

So on the way home from this evenings festivities at my parents place (we kept them up way past their bedtime…my parents, that is), I hear Liam and Brian talking about kindergarten, and of course riding the bus. Brian says “The best part of riding the bus is that you dont have to wear seat belts.” liam responds “but you cant fool around or the bus driver will get mad. One of the drivers i had didnt even let you put your leg in the aisle. He got really mad once when someone got out of their seat.” Brian queried “but what if I put my head in the aisle…do you think he would get mad?” to Liam’s very reasonable response “Brian, how would you put your head in the aisle?” Which led to…
“Liam, when I am in kindergarten, I will get be the fastest at taking tests.” to which Liam responded “No Brian. That is not the way to get an O or an S+. You need to concentrate and focus on each question, and review each one before you hand it in. You never want to be the first one done with a test.” I kid you not, that is VERBATIM what I told him in the middle of the school year when Liam asked me about taking “tests” in kindergarten. I’m telling you, this kid retains everything. Brian on the other hand only retains things that have some comedic value. For example, a couple weeks ago Sarah is putting the boys to sleep and stubs her toe or something, exclaiming “SHOOT.” Brian, in his cute, matter of fact way, says “Mommy, you know its not really SHOOT, its SHIT.”

Uh oh…I guess I need to watch my mouth.

I’m gonna make a concerted effort to blog weekly from now on…don’t hold me to that though. I got some great topics I have to write about before I forget though (tease).

Later

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From → new career

One Comment
  1. kitty murray permalink

    Phil — You have a way of making the banal and mundane things of this world bring a smile and a chuckle to those who have been there. Enjoy!

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