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Diaries of a stay at home dad

February 8, 2013

Where am I?  What am I doing here?  Last thing I remember, it was mid-September, the trees were beginning to change color, and Liam and Brian had just started school.  The laid back, no routine of the summer was over, and I was settling into a “normal” day to day routine.  I don’t remember anything since.  Routine has ruined my life.  This whole school thing is for the birds.  I wake up around 6:30, and the next thing I know its 9pm.  I didn’t sign up for this.  I signed up for the summer schedule.  Waking up around 8, hitting the pool at noon, cocktailing at 4.  So much has changed.

So, what has happend since my last post back in September?

Well, Brian has not fallen out of any windows…knock on wood.  Liam is reading, and very well I might add.  I cannot take any responsibility for this though.  In fact, I likely have slowed his reading advancement by having him attempt to read words and sentences that are well over this head.  As I have posted before, I hold him to a standard that likely aligns better with a 20-25 year old, perhaps a recent college graduate, or newly hired staff person.  I think there are two equally plausible outcomes to my approach with him: 1) Youngest President of the United States, ever, or 2) a semi-professional adult who, when not in a professional setting, acts like he is still 15, plays video games in his off time, and is still afraid to swear in front of his parents.  Oh, wait, I just described myself.  Well, lets hope for #1.

Since our last episode, the boys have discovered the undeniable and unending humor in burping and farting.  Unfortunately, it has become so ubiquitous (definition:Present, appearing, or found everywhere) that I, of all people, am really annoyed by it.  You must understand:  My attempts at holding back the process of aging consists mostly of laughing at sixth grade toilet humor, and playing my playstation.  So, making these crude and rude noises, whether naturally or artificially, should be in my funny sweetspot.  However, my boys have taken all the fun out of this chapter of juvenile humor.  Its like the Uncle everyone has, who when you see him that one time each year at the holidays, tells the exact same joke he has told since you were a wee laddy.  Ugh.  Painful.  I find myself swimming in hypocracy though when I yell at them about being rude and gross, as I know there are so many times when I would gladly condone such behavior.  They have simply overdone it. Whoever said “everything in moderation” must have had sons who could not get enough of fart noises when they coined that phrase.  I can’t help but think this is some sort of karmic “you reap what you sow” moment for me though.

In some strange way though, when Keagan rips one off voluntarily, I find it extremely amusing.  I don’t think so much because of the actual act, but because of the sheer joy it brings him to be able to fart when he commands his little tushy to speak.  In fact, it is almost like a dance for him:  He looks a me very sternly and stoicly; his body tenses up; he straightens out his body; his belly tightens up…and toot toot toot!!  He breaks into a laughter that is simply contagious.  I cannot get angry with him, nor hold myself back from laughing.  And the pride in his face after realizing that he just did something that his big brothers can do is priceless.

Its a good thing that I never read any parenting books or went to a parenting class.  If I did, I probably would be seriously questioning my effectiveness as a parent.  But, as it is, I don’t have time to worry about it…so I am doing great as far as I’m concerned.  Moving on…

So, for my  New Year’s resolutions, I am resolved to lose 20 pounds, and I am going to quit drinking until St Patricks Day, being the good Irish (German, Dutch) boy that I am.

I am sticking to the diet, but I am struggling with the booze thing.   As I type, I am enjoying a nice glass of kentucky bourbon on this cold and snowy February afternoon.  You see, Liam was home from school today because his tonsils are the size of golf balls, but he doesn’t have strep.  It has been a stressful day.  At least that is the excuse I give myself in order to partake in this early afternoon cocktail.  Mid-February and I would say that the boys and I have a serious case of cabin fever.  We get out of the house quite a bit, but it is clear by the boys sprinting up and down the hallways that more activity is needed. I need one of those wheels that gerbils run on.  I could hook it into an engine, then hook it into the grid and make some money off of their energy.  I will write that one down as entreprenuer idea number 43.  If I ever find the time and motivation to act on one of my ideas I will be a very rich man.

Well, as I remember or observe other cute and/or disgusting behavior by the boys, I will attempt to be more disciplined about blogging about it.  HA Ha.

See you in July!


From → new career

One Comment
  1. Megan permalink

    Ugh, I think I said both those comments you hate in paragraph #2 to Sarah. Foot in mouth again. Bad Megan.

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