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Diaries of a stay at home dad

August 11, 2012

It’s 3 pm on a Saturday. My lovely wife has taken the energy sucking parasites for a trip to the store, although Keagan is napping like an angel. I have a chance to take a nap similar to him, but I cannot fall asleep. I got real close…you know like when you start dreaming, then you realize you are about to fall asleep, then your stupid brain starts worrying about yard work, or the blog you have not written in weeks. So frustrating. So, without any other option, I grab a glass of red wine on this wonderful fall-esque day, and I get back on the horse that is blogging.

So two weeks ago we were on vacation. I didn’t wanna blog then for the same reason I never “check in” anywhere on my facebook page. I am convinced someone is going to break into our house and attempt to steal something. There is not a whole lot that they could take worth value though. The computer is from 2005; the TV is nice but it has weird lines running through the right side of the screen. In fact, I wouldn’t mind if someone came and took that, so I could get a new one (right Ryan?). It is more likely that someone would break into the house, trip over Keagans scale-size fire truck that he rides constantly, hit his/her head on the pack and play, slip on legos while attempting to get up, hit the floor, and lie unconscious until we get home. At which point Keagan and Brian would give him or her a big splash, thinking it must be one of their uncles or aunts. Then we would get sued, blah blah blah.

So anyway, we went to Cedar Point with Liam and Brian, and they had a blast. They did not stop moving until we got in the car at 9pm. Liam was able to ride his first roller coasters since he hit the magical 42 inch height. On the crappy side, he could only ride Disaster Transport and Iron Dragon. Now, there is a reason Disaster Transport is currently being disassempbled…it sucks. He hated it. Iron Dragon was a different story. He rode it 6 times. Couldnt get enough of it.

Brian was relagated to the non-coaster rides, but he still had a ball. In fact, he got onto two rides he should not have. How do we know that? well, he got on the first time, then when we got on the next time, like 5 minutes later, the “operators” said he was too short. While he was very disappointed, we assured him there are plenty more rides. So we walk a few minutes and as God as my witness there is the same ride, different paint, different name, and this one will allow little guys on as long has they have a responsible adult with them. Makes sense.

Then we hit the new dinosaur exhibit. $5 per person to get in. Ok, the boys really wanted to see the dinosaurs. “we get reentry, right” I ask. “No sir, you must pay $5 each time.” Well as my family’s old friend and pastor Father Cullen used to say “What a crock!” It was kinda cool. The boys loved it, but the no in/out privleges is bogus.

Rest of vacation was great. Spent some quality time with both sets of parents, hung with nephew Justin (who I beat in Madden not once but twice…its the little things in life), hit Kelly’s Island to spend a day with Kate and John, and dreamed of owning a vacation getaway someday. I asked the boys where they want to buy a place: Liam-PIB, Brian-Kelly’s, Sarah-Catawba…I guess I am the deciding vote, well until Keagan can talk.

So last week was the transition week to normalcy. Normal, was not a word I would use to describe last week. With all the fun we had on vacation, I really did not feel refreshed. In fact, I don’t think I have been right since my bro-in-law and I hit the midnight showing of Dark Knight Rises. When I woke up in the morning after only 3 hours of sleep, it brought back memories of college when we thought it would be cool to stay up drinking all night and hit the bars when they opened in the morning…not good.

My patience-o-meter was dangerousely low all week. Stress seemed to be all around, personified in my three beautiful little cherubs (look it up). For example, Liam has gotten into this mode of repeating his requests perpetually until I respond. Sometimes he will continue on even when I respond with a “No” thinking that I will fall under his spell and change my mind. It got so crazy that I sat him down, spelled out the word “NAG” on a piece of paper, always thinking constructively of course, and I defined for him what a nag is, and why they are not well liked in this or any world. Subsequently, while he seems to lower how loudly he would reiterate his requests, he still continued to berate me. And for some reason, making or purchasing cotton candy was the most often request…weird.

Brian…let me keep this simple. Brian walked to the edge of our porch deck, which does not have a railing, and decided to jump from there onto my hammock. Wow. I watched the whole think in horror. It is only a couple feet down, but good gracious. I think he thought he would bounce on it like a tampoline. well he didn’t. the hammock flipped him around and he landed on the grass. Luckily, without a scratch. I need to get this kid into gymnastics class.

Now for Keagan. He was napping when Brian took his leap, so I cannot blame this next stress inducer on Brian. I was applying sunscreen to Liam and Brian. Keagan, also on the porch, all of a sudden sprints to the edge and then stops on a dime. I leap from the stairs to the edge, maybe 10 feet and grab him. Place him in a pack and play, and then take the mobile heart defribulator off of the wall…CLEAR! Ahh…there it goes, heart is pumping again.

All this during a week when we all were trying to get back into our routines. I chalk this week up to transition. From now on I will see this one coming, I hope. On the bright side, Keagan learned to go down the slide, with the help of dad spotting him.

Did I mention that I watched Jurrassic Park with Liam and Brian. They loved it but I think they were both a bit freaked out. Poor decision on a “transition week.”

Keagan has regained consciousness from his nap, so I must bid you farewell.

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