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Diaries of a stay at home dad

June 15, 2012

So at the end of our last episode I mentioned that we hit the zoo for the first time with me as captain of the starship ridiculous. I used our biking stroller as it is roomier, and I was fully expecting to have all three boys in this thing at some point.
So we begin our day as usual, breakfast, Disney show, play in the yard, and then the k-dawg takes his 2 hour morning nap…at least he usually does. This time instead he takes a four hour nap. I tried to coordinate meeting up with one of my stay at home posse (shout out to ashley Hotchkiss), but how was i supposed to assume k would take that long of nap?

So he wakes at 2, we all pile in the party van for the trip. 5 minutes in, maybe 2 miles down the street Brian asks “how long until we are there dad?”. Seriously?
We get to the zoo and everyone is heading out. Score.
We have a pass, so I don’t care that the Zoo closes in two hours. Heading in I get several looks, accompanied with the “that guys is nuts/has his hands full” comments. Little do they know I am making fun of their Aerosmith/NASCAR Shirts with the missing sleeves while I walk by them.
Sorry, that was not really necessary.

So there is a bathroom just outside the gates, and I ask the boys if they need to go. Liam apparently has the bladder of a field mouse, so of course he says yes. I convince him to wait until we get inside, and thanks to the fundamental premise of having gift shops positioned immediately as you walk through the gates, Liam totally forgets about the bathroom. Thankfully I was spared from having to drag three kids into a public restroom.

Speaking of public restrooms, as we make our way through the zoo, the boys are really doing a great job of listening and staying close, etc. keagan is kicking back in the cart, enjoying life, and all is right with the world. Then i see it. The rhino exhibit. I immediately begin to freak out. I attempt to convince the boys the exhibit is closed, but they notice that while one side is closed, the other is open. Oh, and there just so happens to be an older gentleman with some rhino bones and a horn, taking questions.
Why, you ask, am i so concerned about the rhinos? Well about six months ago a friend of mine sent me a link to a video of a rhino pooping. It sounds like a chain saw, and looks funny, to those of us with a fifth grade or below sense of humor. Thus, My boys, and i, found it hilarious.
What makes this more stressfull is that there are steps, so I cannot get the stroller up to where the boys are…they are on their own.
I am hoping against hope they dont ask the rhino to poop. They don’t, but they turn around and head towards the guy answering questions. Uh oh.
I cannot really hear what they ask, but I can tell it is not about poop, and the gentleman does not seems absolutely disgusted. In the end he says, “great questions boys.”
I think I dodged a bullet there.

Well the only other mishap was in the ice cream shop where the boys seemed determined to pull down the rope thing that set the line. Funny thing is, I told them that if they didn’t stop pulling that thing down, I was going to take them out of the ice cream shop without ice cream. I am pretty confident that they would have made a much worse scene had I done that as opposed to the insignificant annoyance they were causing by pulling on the rope dividers. Choose your battles wisely.

Today was uneventful, but it had its moments. We went for a nature walk, about two miles. A quarter of the way through Liam wants to turn around. I make him push on. He complains throughout, but we make it back to the car. Then we head to Walmart to grab a couple random things. Liam started asking me for a jump rope. Huh? He doesn’t even know how to jump rope and he is apparently too tired to walk, but he wants a jump rope.
I don’t think so.

Big day tomorrow…need my beauty sleep.

Buenos noches!


From → new career

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