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Diaries of a stay at home dad

June 2, 2012

Ok, i missed a day, so sue me. For Bernie kosar’s sake, I am trying to manage the lives of three little kids, and my wife who…I better stop there. But if it helps paint a picture, she told me “you’ve organized more stuff in this house in one day than I did during my whole maternity leave last year.”
Tell me something I don’t now. Bazinga!


I realized that my Wednesday did not start well because all we had left was decaf coffee. No wonder I was out of sorts. I struggled Wednesday, and yesterday I was like a new man. It was like an elixir that gave me energy and confidence. So much so that I thought it was a great idea to clean out the detached garage during keagans nap. Wow. Talk about a miscalculation in needed time and resources to complete a project. For every item I removed from the garage, Liam and Brian moved three or four around, in or out of the garage. Not efficient. By the time keagan woke after his standard two hour nap, I had only moved about a quarter of the stuff out. I still needed to hit home depot (second day in a row), make dinner (smothered and stuffed pork chops, nice) and take Liam to his tee ball game. I need a drink.

What was I thinking trying to clean the garage out while watching three kids? Caffeine. Oh well.
So we made our way back to the yard to play. I was hanging out with keagan, when I see Brian pulling the hose across the yard. I ask him what he’s doing.

Flashback to Wednesday when the boys begged me to get them play sand for their sand box.

Brian says he want to fill the sandbox up with water so all the sand floats out. He wants the sand box to be a water table now. I tell him that he better not do that because I am not going to buy them anymore sand if they dump it all out of the box. Clearly the light bulb above Brian’s head when on. As soon as I walk away he attempts to dump the sand/water table on its side. My spidey-sense warned me of Brian’s shenanigans. I walked back over just in time to see him tilting the box.
“you said if I dumped the box we wouldn’t get anymore sand, and I want it to be a water table only.”
Touché young grasshopper.

Tee ball was good, except for Liam tackling a girl on his team who got to a ground ball before he did. He didn’t actually tackle her. It strongly resembled a browns defensive lineman attempting to tackle a running back during the 2011 season. It was funny/embarrassing in several ways. What is worse is that i was “that parent” who is constantly yelling “directions” to his kid during a meaningless game. I suck, but I caught myself in time to avoid too much damage.

Woke up today feeling like I was hung over. What did I do to deserve this? Need coffee.
Giving the boys baths in the morning is a pain. Keagan haaaaaaaates getting his head wet, ever since a week or two ago when he did his scuba diving imitation in the tub. Yes, it was on my watch…cut me some slack.
So we got past that, had breakfast and then I made the decision to attempt our greatest adventure to date: the west side market.
Overall went smoothly, i counted at least three people who said “oh boy, you got your hands full.”
Ha ha ha…please leave me alone.
On the bright side, i asked for a half dozen brats from a stand where the woman working exclaimed, yes exclaimed, “those are the cutest three boys I have ever seen!”
Besides being extremely perceptive, this woman was also a pushover. When she went to ring me up, she saw I had a five spot in my hand…when i asked how much…low and behold, it was five dollars even. Isn’t that ironic. I think my boys cuteness just set the market for bratwurst. Maybe I should take them to a stock exchange and attempt to by apple stock for 20 bucks a share. Yes, that was supposed to be funny…i am such a hack.

We came home and unpacked. All the boys wanted for lunch was a cannoli we always get from Theresa’s at the market. Being the health conscience dad, I was determined to have the boys eat something healthier than a cannoli for lunch, so I also got them Stromboli, which is basically a small pizza. Dad of the year, right here.

We spent the rest of the afternoon watching cars 2, since it was raining. Movie stunk, but the quiet, calm of hanging out with my boys was a nice end to my first week at my new “job.”


From → new career

  1. TOm & Gerrie Murray permalink

    Am really enjoying every word you write . What great memories & stories you have . Remember Joe Murray saying biggest problem was endless laundry ! His oldest is now in HS

  2. Kitty permalink

    Way to go, Phil! I love your career choice — and I’m guessing L., B., and K. do too. Remember, patience is a virtue.

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